my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
