you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
