btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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