this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
