Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
