I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
