It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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