Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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