Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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