Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
