And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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