I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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