wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
