Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
