What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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