So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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