Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Farmville is her only friend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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