question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
