My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
