I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Mom said you looked used
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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