New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Enjoy the penises
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
