Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i came on her dog
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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