I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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