He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize