I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize