New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
