We're like a lot better than the average bears
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
