watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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