I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
