Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
