In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
