you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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