You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
