I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
