But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
