then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize