shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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