I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
