Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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