i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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