Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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