i think my mom watched the whole time
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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