I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
