carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
