Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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