Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
