so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
