ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We were destined to go to rehab together
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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