you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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