does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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