I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
...so i touched it.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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