At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
