Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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