Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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