I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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