I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
