Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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