Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Are we still banned from the library?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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