Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
