I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
