This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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